Victory!

The latest Republican let's-not-give-anyone-healthcare bill went down in flames. Or maybe it was a total success! Here's what DJT thinks about the defeat. Or maybe the victory:

(From Huffington Post)

“Essentially the vote would have been pretty close too, if you look at it: 48 to 4,” said Trump, referring to the Republican side only. “That’s a pretty impressive vote by any standard.”

Yes, pretty impressive ... if Republicans were the only ones who voted. 

So, by the same standard:

• If only your children voted, you would be Father of the Year!
• If only YOU voted, you would be your high school's Most Popular Student!
• If only your hairdresser voted, you would be Best Comb-Over Ever!
• If only I could vote ... over and over ... you would slink away in defeat

If only.
 

Health Care for Dummies

Tom Price, head of HHS, is totally bewildered by all the opposition to the Republican healthcare plan. Even the insurance companies hate it, which is really saying something because generally the only thing they hate is paying out money for actual health care.

The biggest problem with the ever-changing reform plan is that it contains no new ideas. No good ones, either. No problem, according to Price.

--- 
"It’s really perplexing," he said, "especially from the insurance companies, because all they have to do is dust off how they did business before Obamacare."
---

Yes indeedy. Dust off those old practices like cancelling policies, refusing coverage or raising rates when people get sick. Those were the good old days.

Mediocrity is awesome

Collusion Preview

A statement by DJT, made during a press conference just hours after his son set up a meeting with Russians promising dirt on Hillary. Trump was touting an upcoming speech.

“I think you’re going to find it very informative and very very interesting. We are going to be discussing all of the things that have taken place with the Clintons.”

The speech was subsequently canceled.

Best tweet ever

Supply and demand

Definition of supply and demand, by Rick Perry, head of some agency he wanted to eliminate, which I can't remember but I know it's not education though he wanted to eliminate that one as well so maybe it's um, gee, golly, can't remember. Oops.

Here's a little economics lesson: supply and demand. You put the supply out there, and the demand will follow.

I would make this stuff up if I needed to. But seriously. No need.

Infinty

At a signing ceremony reviving the National Space Council, with Buzz Aldrin looking on in amazement:

"Our travels beyond the Earth propel scientific discoveries that improve our lives in countless ways here. At some point in the future, we're going to look back and wonder, how did we do it without space?

"The human soul yearns for discovery. Our journey into space will not only make us stronger and more prosperous, but will unite us behind grand ambitions and bring us all closer together.

"Wouldn’t that be nice? Can you believe that space is going to do that?"

... Trump opens the Executive Order he's about to sign ...

"I know what this is! Space!"

... Aldrin then jokes, "To infinity and beyond!"

... Trump replies ...

"This is infinity here. It could be infinity. We don’t really don’t know. But it could be. It has to be something — but it could be infinity, right?"

Yes, Donald. It's only been 6 months but it definitely feels like infinity.

We Are The 1%: Part Six

(John Boehner, Speaker of the House. Ya think you could fit a few more flags behind you?)

I've been working since I was 8 years old, when I learned to mix drinks at the family bar. That explains a lot.

I cry like a baby whenever people mention taxes, or if my golf game gets rained out. That makes me a compassionate conservative.

I have never in my life had to worry about health care, the price of food, or how to fund my retirement. That makes me smarter than you.

I am the 1%. And proud of it.

~~~

We Are The 1%: Part Five

(Bill O'Reilly, smug Fox News host who has smirked for so long, his lips are permanently fused together. i wish.)

I am 62 years old.

I've worked since I was 6 months old.

It's no wonder I'm so cranky.

If you're unemployed, that's your own dang fault. Get a college degree, get a job, and become a millionaire like me. What's so hard about that?

Tune in tomorrow night, when I will say exactly the same thing again. But with a different tie.

Of course, if Obama raises my taxes to 99%, which he might, I will not be here tomorrow night.

Wahhhh.

I am the 1%.

~~~

We Are The 1%: Part Four

(Mitt Romney, Republican candidate for president who made much of his fortune by arranging leveraged buyouts which often involved laying off shmucks who now mooch off the government because, hello, they have no jobs)

I'm unemployed, my friend.

Just like you.

Well, except for the $200 million which I hold in blind trusts.

I spent my life improving the profitability of corporations. And as we all know, corporations are people. So I spent my life helping people. Kind of.

I spent $45 million of my own money running for president in 2008.

• That could have paid for a complete course of chemotherapy for more than 10,000 people.
• It could have put food on the table for more than 11,000 families in the United States for an entire year.
• It could have paid the health insurance premiums for tens of thousands of Americans who will die this year because they have no access to the "best health care in the world."

Life is not fair. Get over it.

I am the 1%.

~~~

We Are The 1%: Part Three

(John Paulson, hedge fund manager)

- made a fortune by deliberately setting up bundles of crappy mortgages, selling them to unsuspecting investors, and betting against them at the same time.

- way smarter than you.

- did nothing illegal, which is maybe the most amazing part.

- estimated worth: $15.5 billion

- do not deserve to be vilified for my success.

I am the 1%. Deal with it.

~~~

We Are The 1%: Part Two

(Herman Cain, Republican candidate for president. And look, he's black!)

I come from humble beginnings. I owned a couple of pizza joints and managed to make a bazillion dollars. Easy peasy. Anybody could do it. Racism never held me back.

If something is holding 99% of the people back, it's the complexity of the world we live in. So let's simplify things.

9-9-9.

What does it mean? Nobody knows.
Will it work? Nobody cares.
Listen. It's simple. We can all repeat it over and over.

9-9-9.

Stop whining, pathetic losers. Get off the streets, open a pizza joint, and move up in the world.

And in conclusion:
9-9-9.

I am the 1%.

~~~

We Are The 1%: Part One

(Stephen Hemsley, CEO of UnitedHealth)

I am 58 years old.

Made nearly $102 million last year, but only $1.3 million of that was salary. Could you live on a measly $1.3 million? Me neither.

If Obama increases my taxes, I may not be able to afford my $37 million corporate jet. I'll need to scrimp in order to pay the property taxes on my $6.6 million home.

Oh wait. What am I thinking? My company has a virtual monopoly in at least 12 states. We'll simply raise the health insurance premiums for all of the little people.

Problem solved.

Quit blaming others.

I am the 1%.

~~~

Worth 1000 words

From a union solidarity protest in Chicago, today ... (Democratic Underground)

Tired of overpaid teachers?

(typical teacher)

Note: I think the following post originated on Facebook. I took it from Democratic Underground.

~~~

Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work nine or ten months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do -- babysit!

We can get that for less than minimum wage.

That's right. Let's give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and planning -- that equals 6-1/2 hours).

So each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day...maybe 30? So that's $19.50 x 30 = $585 a day.

However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.

LET'S SEE....

That's $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).

What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master's degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6-1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.

Wait a minute -- there's something wrong here! There sure is!

The average teacher's salary (nationwide) is $50,000.

$50,000/180 days = $277.77 per day / 30 students = $9.25 / 6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student -- a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!)

WHAT A DEAL!!!!

Make a teacher smile; repost this to show appreciation for all educators.

Meredith Menden

~~~

What's another word for amnesia? I forget.

(five thirty is extremely early. which may explain why i am always late.)

I am SO sad that I haven't had time to blog lately! But of course, I am one of the lucky ones. I have a job.

Not that I didn't have a job before, but it was a self-employed job, which doesn't really count as a job because if you are foolish enough to be self-employed then you deserve to pay double taxes and outrageous health insurance premiums even though you are the embodiment of the supposed American Dream of self sufficient entrepreneur based small business ideal which unfortunately when you boil it right down means diddly squat.

Not that I'm bitter.

Anyway.

I've missed a lot, including the opportunity to rail against the Republicans who are now suddenly dead set against any deficit spending even though the current deficit can clearly be traced back to the Bush administration.Which, as I recall, was proudly Republican at the time.

Not to mention the Republicans who are now totally outraged about the push-back against the Arizona immigration bill, claiming that the federal government's inaction is to blame even though the Republicans are by any definition the inactive portion of the federal government.

Plus of course let's not forget the Republicans who are totally upset about the Gulf oil "spill" even though if we cared to connect the rapidly gushing dots, which they would rather not, those dots would form a straight line leading to some Republican leaders who shall remain nameless but whose names would rhyme with Mush and Brainy. Which is quite apt.

I wish I had time to elaborate. But I need to get up at 5:30 so I won't be late for work.

Let's just leave it at that.

~~~

Seriously hilarious news

(there's not a lot to laugh about these days)

Have you heard the news??

A gigantic underground volcano of oil is erupting, threatening at the very least the Gulf of Mexico and at the very worst our entire planet. Including me. This is not good.

Europe is in a financial crisis. Today, riots in Greece or a technical glitch caused by a Wall Street trader who was distracted by downloading the John Edwards video, nobody seems to know which, caused a 1000-point drop in the Dow Jones Industrial Index in just one hour. Yikes.

But I did find one headline that gave me quite a chuckle.

Here it is:

Fox Defends Michael Brown Interview: 'He's An Expert On Botched Responses.'

Yes, Fox News had Michael "Heckuvajob" Brown on TV the other night, explaining his theory that President Obama reacted "slowly" to the oil spill for political reasons. Brown is a credible spokesperson for incompetence, apparently. Hard to deny that.

Perhaps Fox News should consider some other guest appearances:

- They could have Joe Lieberman host a special show on How To Be A Loyal Friend.

- They could have John McCain explain How To Be A Maverick While Not Being A Maverick Who Ever Said I Was A Maverick?? Not Me.

- They could invite Sarah Palin to discuss job longevity.

- They could ask Dick Cheney to talk about the sneering, snarling secrecy, deception, and blatantly anti-constitutional actions of the Obama administration. Oh wait. They already did.

- I could go on and on.

Any other ideas?

~~~

Republican "Census" Form

(gee, you just never know what's going to arrive in the mail!)

Dear Michael Steele,

I was a little surprised to receive your "OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT FUND RAISING PLEA DISGUISED AS A CENSUS FORM" in the mail today. I am quite honored that you want to know my views about the Republican Party.

In fact, the accompanying letter says that my registered Census "is one of a select few being mailed into Texas' 26th Congressional District." Wow. Lucky me.

But your questions are making me mad. Especially since I am a registered Democrat. For example (and I quote) -

"How much does it concern you that the Democrats have total control of the federal government?"

"Do you believe the huge, costly Democrat-passed stimulus bill has been effective in creating jobs?"

"Do you worry that the Obama Administration is committed to greatly expanding the government's role in your life?"

And on and on and on ...

Come now, Mr. Steele. If you want me to answer your inflammatory questions, kindly fill out the form below, attach a check for $25 or more, and send it to me. You already have my address.

Question # 1:
The Republican strategy is to:
__ Propose absolutely no ideas
__ Vote no
__ Propose ideas, and then vote no on the exact same ideas

Question # 2:
When you look back on the Bush years, do you think:
__ Bush was not a true Republican
__ Bush was misunderstood
__ Bush who?

And Question # 3:
According to the Republicans, a true American is someone who:
__ Votes Republican
__ Attends tea party rallies with other Medicare and Social Security recipients
__ Would never be mistaken for an illegal alien, even in Arizona
__ Thinks Glenn Beck is serious
__ All of the above

Thank you for your time, Mr. Steele. And now, I plan to print out this little blog post and return it to you in your Business Reply Envelope. No check attached.

~~~

Good news

Good news!

Did you hear?

The jobs report this week was really exciting! (details here)

Businesses added 162,000 jobs in March, the largest gains in 3 years. Not enough to change the overall 9.7% unemployment rate, but way, way better than the 700,000+ jobs we were losing at the end of the Bush administration, right? Right?

Wrong. According to Senator John Cornyn's facebook page, which I visit only so my fellow Texans can get some kind of balanced viewpoint even if they choose to ignore it - and I quote -

"Sadly, March jobs report flat."

Hmm ... well, how about THIS good news? The new health reform bill includes an immediate tax credit for small businesses, starting at an average of 35% and increasing up to 50% for the first two years a company buys insurance through its state exchange (details here).

But - according to Maria Bartiromo on the Morning Joe show last week, which I will never watch again - and I quote -

"Well, but first the business would have to buy the insurance. So it kind of sounds like a fee to me."

Ok, so a tax credit somehow becomes a fee. Hmm ... but did you hear? The reform bill also empowers the federal government to cap insurance premium increases, which is totally obviously necessary unless we all want to pay 30 to 40% more for insurance each year.

But - according to Rick Moran, whose name is hilariously similar to a popular misspelled Tea Party sign, though I am much too tactful to bring that up, this is all part of a bigger plot.

Here is a quote from Mr. Moran's recent blog post:

"The federal government will ... have the ability to deny 'excessive' rate increases by insurers under Obamacare. This will be a mechanism by which the government deliberately destroys the private insurance industry in order to to force a single payer system down our throats."

Ok. Fine.

Sigh.

So people finally finding jobs is terrible news. Tax credits for small business owners are terrible news. Premium limits are terrible news.

Maybe this will cheer you up:

Angela Braly received a 51% pay increase in 2009. Braly is the CEO of WellPoint, the insurance company that recently announced premium increases of up to 39% in California. Her overall compensation for 2009 was $13.1 million, while the company enjoyed profits of $4.75 billion (details here).

Way to go, Angela.

Nice job, WellPoint.

Good news, indeed.

~~~

I just have to say ...

(settle down, lesley, settle down)

Woo hoo! Boo ya! And a big "Way To Go!" to President Obama and Nancy Pelosi.

The health reform bill isn't perfect. I'd prefer single payer myself. But they did it. Amazing.

Some good things will start to happen right away. Insurance companies can no longer say "Sorry, your child was born with asthma. That's a pre-existing condition." They can no longer say "Sorry, you had a cold six years ago. That's a pre-existing condition." They can no longer say "Sorry, your illness is too expensive. Even though you paid your premiums, we're cutting you off."

Of course, they wouldn't say that anyway. At least, not the "sorry" part.

It amazes me to see the backlash, particularly from my Christian friends who I am now about to totally offend.

If Jesus designed a health care plan, what do you think it would look like? Would he do his best to avoid taxing the wealthy? Would he be mainly concerned with maintaining the hefty profits of the hospitals and insurance companies? If he suggested caring for the poor (like, hello, I believe he did over and over) would his disciples run away clutching their wallets and screaming about socialism?

I think not.

If you are upset about health reform, please take a few minutes to learn the facts.

Your taxes are not going up, unless you make over $200,000 a year.
The government is not taking over health care. (I wish they would)
There are no death panels.
There are new, common sense controls on the insurance industry.
There are over 200 Republican amendments in the bill.

And last but not least - tort reform and selling across state lines would NOT provide meaningful reform.

Rant over. I feel better now.

More to come.

~~~