(what are YOU smiling about??)
The debate is over. Climate change is real. I can prove it.
I don't have time to issue a 98-page report, as EPA economist Alan Carlin recently did. You may have heard about his report. Or maybe not. It was silenced by his boss, possibly because it was written by an economist and not a scientist. Or possibly because it contained opinions and ideas (as opposed to, say, research or facts) which had already been considered and rejected by the EPA.
The silencing, of course, made the news. Especially the Fox News.
But all of this debate and drama is quite unnecessary.
As I said, I have the proof.
I know that climate change is real, because I once painted my bathroom.
That's right. I painted my bathroom. It was a small bathroom. But it had very large, Hollywood-vanity-style light fixtures. Two of them. They looked like this:
They were quite ugly. And amazingly hot. By the time I finished painting, my body temperature was 107, the drywall in the ceiling was bubbling, and the grass on our front lawn was brown. The neighbor's lawn too.
All from 8 little lightbulbs. Multiply that by however many bulbs are in a typical house, and multiply that by however many houses are in the world, and you end up with precisely ... a whole lot of heat.
Hey, I'm no economist. I don't have time to look up all those numbers.
But trust me, I'm right.
And don't tell me about those squiggly bulbs that save energy and stay cooler. They take several seconds to light up. We're Americans. We're busy. We don't have time for that either.
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