Insurers attack health reform. Or not.

(money: the root of all health care)

Stop the presses! Hold your horses! Better sit down for this one.

The health insurance industry has mounted "an attack against health reform." A Huffington Post headline this morning screamed: Insurance Companies Declare War.

But did they?

Here's what happened: the insurance industry released some figures from a study showing that the Baucus plan would add $1,700 a year to a family's health insurance premiums in 2013, or $600 a year for an individual.

Pardon my French, but no shit. Does this actually surprise anyone?

As it stands right now, with no attempt at competition or price regulation, the Baucus bill is not even TRYING to reduce premium costs. In fact, the response from Scott Mulhauser, a spokesman for Baucus, underscores this fact.

According to Huffington Post:
"Baucus spokesman Mulhauser said the study is 'seriously flawed' because it doesn't take into account provisions in the legislation that would lower the cost of coverage, such as tax credits to help people buy private insurance, protections for current policies and administrative savings from a revamped marketplace."

Did you catch that? Tax credits to help people buy private insurance are supposed to lower the cost of coverage? How does that make sense?? The insurers can charge whatever they want, making profits for shareholders and enriching the fat cats at the top, and the taxpayers will cover the bill. It's simple. It's brilliant. And it has nothing to do with lowering the cost of coverage. (shifting it to the middle class, yes. lowering it - no.)

So let's just all calm down. The insurance companies have not declared war.

~ They're just letting us know that they plan to raise premiums.

~ They're just saying that the Baucus bill gives them plenty of excuses to raise them even higher.

~ They're just telling the truth.

Now take a deep breath, relax, and go take your vitamins. You certainly don't want to get sick.

~~~

Villain Of The Day: UnitedHealth

(stephen hemsley, current ceo of united health.
nice work if you can get it)

Welcome to UnitedHealth! We are delighted to have you as a customer. Please observe the following rules and we will all get along just fine.

Rule # 1: Pay your premiums. Yeah, yeah, we know. Your rate goes up every year. Quit whining. At least you have health insurance.

Rule # 2: Don't get sick. We are not in business to cater to your every sniffle and sneeze. If you get sick repeatedly, or you choose expensive diseases, we will cancel your policy in a heartbeat. Not that we have a heart.

Rule # 3: If you do get sick, use the cheapest doctors you can find. Our subsidiary, Ingenix, will provide totally unbiased information on how much we have to pay. And believe us, it won't be much. You'll get stuck paying the rest. But at least you have health insurance.

Rule # 4: Don't read the newspapers. They are full of lies. We did NOT admit to back-dating of stock options, denial of care, data manipulation, or any of those other silly things in all those frivolous lawsuits. We paid the settlements. Get over it. We gotta get back to making profits. Did we mention that your premiums are going up again?

Rule # 5: Get off our CEO's back. He is a great guy. Our last CEO was a shmuck. We'll admit it. He resigned after the whole silly stock option thing, with $1.6 billion in stock options, but he paid back $600 million. Poor guy. He can barely afford his personal jet, made entirely out of hundred-dollar bills and superglue.

Our current CEO is much better. This year he is only making $102,000 an hour. And his stock options are only worth $744 million. He lives a simple life.

Rule # 6: Do NOT go to www.sickforprofit.com to watch a video full of nasty lies. Do NOT click on this link. Do not listen to the crazy left-wing bloggers who want to put GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRATS between you and your trusted insurance company.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

He's busy counting his money.

~~~