Seriously ...

(you got that right)

I'm sure you have heard about the devastating earthquake in Haiti. The damage to this impoverished country is staggering. Tens of thousands of people are dead. Millions are homeless. Every hospital in the country has been damaged or destroyed.

President Obama responded quickly, promising a strong, coordinated response.

Rush Limbaugh also responded quickly. Here's what he had to say:

"This will play right into Obama's hands. Humanitarian, compassionate ... they'll use this to burnish their, shall we say 'credibility' with the black community - in both the light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country. It's made to order for them. That's why he couldn't wait to get out there."

This is despicable. Inexcusable. And completely typical. Mr.Big Fat Idiot, like so many other people on the national stage, is obviously more interested in generating buzz than in responding with any type of authentic, human feeling.

It doesn't matter if it's an earthquake in Haiti or a flood in Louisiana or the debate over health reform. The human consequences don't matter. The truth doesn't matter. The role of our country in the world doesn't matter. All that matters to Mr. BFI and his cohorts, is that they get their faces and their hateful, ignorant words on the news.

It worked, BFI.

We heard you. Some of us cringed at your insensitivity and shook our heads at your stupidity. Others, unfortunately, nodded their heads in agreement and scoffed at the idea of an effective, necessary and compassionate response from a president who clearly is "not us."

He's part of the "black community" - not our community. Right? Just like the suffering people in Haiti. So who cares?

You got your face on the news, interspersed between footage of people trapped in the rubble.

You made your point, whether you really believe your own words or not. And I don't think you do. I think you choose your words to make an impact. Period. Just like Sarah Palin with her "death panels" or Glenn Back with his nutty conspiracy theories or my Senator John Cornyn with the biased, inaccurate emails he's always sending me.

I don't think any of you guys really believe what you're saying. You're just playing a game. And as long as you're in the spotlight, you think you're winning.

Oh well.

You boosted your ratings, Mr. Limbaugh.

I hope you're happy. You big. fat. idiot.

~~~

Bumblehead of the Week

(rush limbaugh - bumblehead of every week)

Rush was rushed to the hospital last week! Goodness! I'm sure you have all been on pins and needles, wondering how he's going.

Fortunately, the big fella is just fine. His chest pains were apparently caused by a vacant spot in his chest that would normally be occupied by a heart. Kind of similar to those headaches he often gets, if you know what I mean.

Anyway.

Rush is now home and doing great. Here's what he had to say about the experience:

(From Politico.com)
"The treatment I received here was the best that the world has to offer,” Limbaugh said. “Based on what happened here to me, I don't think there's one thing wrong with the American health care system. It is working just fine, just dandy."


No kidding, Brainless One. You're a wealthy, famous American with, I'm sure, ample health insurance. Of course your treatment was "just dandy."

Grrr.

In a somewhat related story, a friend of mine who is totally not a bumblehead recently posted some pictures of her new grandbaby on Facebook. One of the photos showed the hospital lobby. It looks just fine, just dandy. But it struck me a little odd ...




... tell me, do we perhaps, slightly, maybe have our priorities a little out of whack in this country, when hospital lobbies look like luxurious 5-star hotels but middle class people go bankrupt every day from medical expenses? Hmmm?

Is our system really the best the world has to offer?
Are we doing fine?
Dandy?
Really?

~~~

Michelle Obama on Leno: Startling revelations!

(another guy who can make me swear)

Hey! Rush Limbaugh! Did you see Michelle Obama on Leno last night?

RL: Yeah. So?

She said Barack beats her! Quite often!

RL: Really? I missed that part.

She was talking about playing tennis with him, and she said the most annoying thing about him is that he beats her quite often! There's a headline for ya!!

RL: Wow! You're right! That's a great story. There's only one problem: it's true. I can't report on stories that are true.

Oh, that's right. You prefer stories like the made-up, totally obviously false one you blubbered about yesterday. The one about Obama's college thesis supposedly criticizing the U.S. Constitution for not promoting the "distribution of wealth."

RL: Yeah. Now THERE's a good story!

Did you even visit the blog that first "reported" the story? I mean, the blogger tagged it "SATIRE" which generally means "NOT THE GOD'S HONEST TRUTH." Plus he included cheesy lines like this:

"In Los Angeles and New York, the poor reach to me with bleary eyes and all I can do is sigh."

Does that really sound like something Barack would say?

RL: Who the hell cares? Hey, have you heard that he beats his wife?!

sigh.

~~~

Conspiracy Theory

(yes we did. is that good or bad?)

~ Date: July 2008

~ Location: Secret Bunker

~ Participants: Anonymous, high-ranking government officials. Let's randomly call them GWB, DC, and Whoever Was In Charge Of The Republican Party At That Point (Probably Rush Limbaugh, but we'll go with RP).

DC: Thanks for coming, W.

GWB: No problem. You know I'm always at your service. Hey, could you read this book to me? It's my favorite.

DC: Not again. You know the caterpillar comes out just fine in the end.

GWB: Pleeeease? Just once?

DC: After we have a little talk. This is important. Focus. RP has some information.

RP: Things are not going well for McCain.

GWB: What do you mean? I thought the polls were pretty close so far.

RP: Exactly. He could actually win. This is not good.

GWB: Don't we WANT him to win??

RP and DC: NO!!!!

RP: He has to lose. It's our only hope. The economy is sinking like a rock. The housing market is a mess. We haven't done a thing about health care. Not to mention the auto industry, the wars, unemployment, Social Security, Medicare, gitmo -

DC: Stop crying, W.

RP: We have a plan. We lose this election. We get Obama in the White House. The poor sap will have no choice. He'll have to spend money like crazy to try to get out of this whole fiasco. He'll try to get health care reform through. He might even try to close Guantanamo. And all we have to do is sit back and criticize!

DC: It's beautiful! I love it!

RP: We've got the talking points ready. He's a socialist. He's bankrupting the country. He's leaving a legacy of debt for our grandchildren.

DC: I'll go on a speaking tour! He's leaving us vulnerable to attack. Heh heh snarl snarl ...

GWB: But ... but ... how can we make sure McCain loses the election?

RP: We've got that all figured out. Have you ever been to Alaska?

~~~