Dear followers, lurkers, and anonymous commenters from Japan:
Good news! I have discovered how to make money blogging. Here's how you do it: you stop blogging, and get a job.
Yes, somebody actually offered me a real, full-time job. I start next week. I'm very excited. It's not a blogging job, but it is a writing job with a wonderful company.
Of course, the bad news is that I will have less time for blogging. And I had SO many things to rant about!
I was going to look into genetically modified organisms, which I hate to tell you but you probably eat these mutated food-like undigestable substances for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. Truly scary stuff.
I was going to cover the upcoming health reform summit in great detail, which I'm sure will be very amusing. Maybe President Obama will propose a tax credit for surgically removing sneers from the faces of certain Republican leaders *cough*Boehner*cough*.
And of course I was going to follow Sarah Palin's run for the presidency in 2012, which you betcha is coming and which will provide ENDLESS fodder for bloggers like me. And since I am satirical, just like Rush Limbaugh, I can say whatever I want without worrying about offending Ms. Palin. What a relief!
Clearly I can't let these opportunities completely pass me by. So I'll be around! I just won't be ranting quite as frequently.
Have a great day, my friends! But put down that muffin. Trust me, you don't want to eat that. I'll tell you why later.