All right guys and gals in Washington, gather round and repeat after me:
1. I resolve to act in the best interests of my constituents and my country in 2010.
2. I resolve not to be swayed by campaign contributions from giant corporations. I will put principles above payouts.
3. I resolve to argue with opponents only about issues and policy. I will leave out the name-calling, blatant lies and smarmy little catch-phrases designed to grab headlines and inflame the already-angry overweight white people in baseball caps.
And 4. Once I retire, I will go away. I will not issue irate statements or write rambly Facebook messages attacking the current political leaders. I will write my book, collect my millions, and snarl off into the sunset.
... sigh ... wouldn't that be nice?