Thursday, December 17, 2009

Conspiracy Theory

(who IS this person, and how did he get in the white house?)

You've heard about the Salahi's, I'm sure. They're the couple who crashed the White House dinner party.

How did they get in? Who knows? Who cares? I have a bigger question ...

Who is this Barack Obama look-alike who is apparently now in charge???

I didn't vote for this guy.

I voted for a guy who cared deeply about the middle class. Who really wanted health reform. And most importantly to me - who knew what to say and how to say it.

The Republican party has no problem getting their message across. In fact, they are geniuses when it comes to message control. They can take the simple issue of providing health care to millions of Americans and turn it into a raging, ugly argument that invokes comparisons to Nazi death camps.

They can take Americans who rightfully feel angry and betrayed by the evaporation of their net worth during a financial meltdown that occurred during a Republican administration - and turn that anger against the current President as he tries to fix the mess left behind.

They can muster up little slogans left and right to get their message across. Death panels. Socialist. Flip Flop. Guantanamo North. Hear my voice or hear my gun. Don't mess with our constitution. Keep your Socialist hands off my government-provided health care.

Damn. They've got some good copywriters on their side.

And what is our eloquent President saying in response? Not much.

He hasn't fought back. He hasn't explained his decisions. He hasn't defended his judgment or fought for his priorities.

So here's my theory:

Either (a) the real Barack Obama has run far far away, which I could totally understand, and is now being played by some other guy, like in the movie Dave where Kevin Kline takes over as president and actually does a better job, which unfortunately is not the case here.

Or (b) Barack hasn't run away, but his speechwriters have, in which case he really needs to give me a call because I know for a fact that I could do a better job than whoever is telling him what to say right now. (call me, Prez! I'm here for ya.)

Or maybe (c) President Obama has good reasons for doing what he is doing, really he does, but he thought it would be special and festive to wait until Christmas morning to tell us what those reasons are, at which point the sun will come out, the birdies will begin to sing, and bells will chime out across the land.

Wouldn't that be nice?


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