Sunday, August 30, 2009

Is ObamaCare Unconstitutional?

(we the people of the united states, in order to guarantee triple-digit profits to the major health insurance companies, and secure the blessings of wealth to all of their ceo's, do forfeit the right to health care unless we are fortunate enough to be employed by an extremely large corporation. and even then it's kind of iffy.)

I keep hearing complaints about ObamaCare being unconstitutional. In fact, I got a comment here on my blog about that, just a few days ago. I am a little baffled by this.

After all, Obama was a professor of constitutional law for 12 years at the University of Chicago Law School. But who knows? Maybe, as a secret Muslim who was planning a takeover of the United States, he was just looking for loopholes all that time.

Anyway. Before I go to all the trouble of figuring out how, exactly, our President is subverting the Constitution, I would love to hear what you all think.

What are these people talking about?

What principles or amendments, exactly, are being violated?

I did some extensive research on Wikipedia, and I saw no mention of ObamaCare whatsoever, pro or con. I did see these words, right up front:

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

Notice the phrase "promote the general Welfare," which I put in bold so you would notice it. Now, I ask you: what could be more helpful in promoting the general Welfare, than affordable, accessible health care? Should this not be a basic right in the wealthiest country in the world?

Some are arguing that the 10th Amendment gives the responsibility for health care to the states, since the rest of the constitution does not specifically mention Aetna or UnitedHealth. But you know what? The states have done a crappy job of providing health care. My state of Texas is one of the worst.

The general Welfare is suffering. Without drastic health care reform, it will suffer much more.

So how does the concept of curtailing health insurance company profits inhibit my Constitutional rights?

I seriously would welcome some input. Because I just don't get it.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Where is Sarah Palin?

(sarah? is that you?)

The Anchorage Daily News reports that Sarah has been a no-show at four events in the past few months. Most recently, she was billed as the star speaker at a big Alaska Family Council fundraiser but at the last minute, her staff said they had never confirmed the event and she was out of town.

You know what this means, don't you?

There is a spotlight shining brightly, and Sarah is not in it!!

Something is clearly wrong.

The world has heard from Sarah only through her Facebook page, where she posts messages from time to time. Mostly about Death Panels.

"Well, let's see. There's ― of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Death Panels, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others. But."

The real question, of course, is not "What the heck is she talking about?"

The real question is, "Where did she go?"


Here are my theories:

1. She's in Argentina, waiting for Mark Sanford to resign.

2. She's trying to decide on names for baby # 6. Tree? Triangle? Triplicate?

3. She is studying for a guest appearance on "Are You Smarter Than A Third Grader?"

4. She fired her ghostwriter, and she's hard at work on her book. "And so thus, clearly, in this great American country of ours that is being torn apart from within and without and of course again, like so many others before me, also. Whereas."


Miss ya, Sarah! I'm sure we will see you soon.


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Kentucky Fried Chicken wants to kill us all

(the new 'double down' sandwich. why do they hate us so??)

I suspected it all along. Now we have the proof. The restaurant industry is out to kill us.

First there were the massive portions that started to appear everywhere. Then, these ever-increasing piles of food started getting cheaper and cheaper. And now, KFC has a new sandwich called the Double Down that has fried chicken breasts instead of buns. Seriously.

I went there earlier today and had the following conversation with the voice in the drive-thru machine:

Voice: Welcome to KFC. Would you like to try our new Double Down sandwich?

Me: No thank you. I was hoping to live another year or two. Could I just have a grilled chicken breast, a side of green beans, and a Caesar side salad?

Voice: Sure! That will be 500 calories, 130 grams of cholesterol and 1450 milligrams of sodium. What would you like to drink?

Me: Um ... a coke?

Voice: Excellent choice! I'll supersize that for free. The FDA recommends at least 64 ounces of soft drinks a day, you know. That's 600 calories and more than a cup of sugar. How about dessert?

Me: How's your pecan pie?

Voice: It's really good! It'll double your calorie count all by itself.

Me: Ok. Why not?

Voice: Your total is $10.24. Please drive up.

Me: Wow. That is an excellent value. You know what? Throw in one of those Double Down sandwiches as well. And change the salad to Jumbo Fries.

Voice: Sure thing!

Me: Thanks! This should make a tasty little snack. I'll be back in a couple of hours for lunch.


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Why I should win a Nobel Prize

(what will she come up with next? who knows?
do we really care? let's go get some cinnamon buns)

I never thought of myself as an expert on economics, or politics, or much of anything for that matter. But it turns out I have pretty good instincts! Who knew?

I've been muddling around with an idea for a blog post, wondering how to go about it. The idea is "The Myth of Small Government." See, it seems to me that when government gets "small" and private enterprise reigns supreme, the rich just end up getting richer and big companies get bigger and the rest of us get screwed.

So while all these people are yelling about taking back their country and getting government out of the way, I'm thinking "Are you crazy?"

~ Weren't you here for the past 8 years?

~ Did you sleep through the credit crisis?

~ Were you comatose when Wall Street went berserk, selling crap and calling it gold, taking our money and paying it to themselves as bonuses, while our teeny little government looked the other way?

~ Do you really think health insurance executives are going to suddenly say "Oh, wait! People don't have health insurance? What was I thinking, taking tens of millions of dollars for myself? Let's make some changes that will really help people!" ... Not in a million years.

I felt very validated when I discovered an op-ed piece by Paul Krugman, a Nobel Prize winning economist who is known for his liberal views. Mr. Krugman describes the failure of Reaganomics, and goes on to ponder why the argument for "small government" still holds so much sway.


Here are a few quotes from the article:

"There’s a lot to be said about the financial disaster of the last two years, but the short version is simple: politicians in the thrall of Reaganite ideology dismantled the New Deal regulations that had prevented banking crises for half a century, believing that financial markets could take care of themselves. The effect was to make the financial system vulnerable to a 1930s-style crisis — and the crisis came."

“We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals,” said Franklin Delano Roosevelt in 1937. “We know now that it is bad economics.” And last year we learned that lesson all over again."

"Some of the blame also must rest with President Obama, who famously praised Reagan during the Democratic primary, and hasn’t used the bully pulpit to confront government-is-bad fundamentalism. That’s ironic, in a way, since a large part of what made Reagan so effective, for better or for worse, was the fact that he sought to change America’s thinking as well as its tax code."

"How will this all work out? I don’t know. But it’s hard to avoid the sense that a crucial opportunity is being missed, that we’re at what should be a turning point but are failing to make the turn."


That's exactly what my blog post was going to say!

So there ya go.

What he said.


Saturday, August 22, 2009

Odd News Headlines

(mommy, what is that folded-up pile of paper?
honey, that is what we called a newspaper back in the old days.

instead of making stuff up online, people would print it out and throw it onto your lawn.)

A few humorous stories from Yahoo's Odd News section to brighten up your weekend! My comments, of course, in red.

Woman Sues Zoo Over Splashing Dolphins
A woman is suing a Chicago-area zoo for a 2008 fall near a dolphin exhibit, accusing zookeepers of encouraging the mammals to splash water and then failing to protect spectators from wet surfaces.

I can just hear the zookeeper now: "Hey, Flipper! Aim for the lady in the purple hat! Woo hoo! I love my job."

Pack Your Trunk And Leave The Beach!
A French town has banned circus elephants from bathing at its beaches over concerns the animals' excrement could pollute the water and pose a health hazard to other swimmers.

We have the same problem in our backyard pool. You should see the size of the swim diapers we have to buy. The elephants are usually pretty good about not splashing spectators. But get out of the way when they yell "Cannon-Ball!!!"

Baby Boomers Still Getting High
Baby boomers, now well into middle age, are still turning on to illegal drugs, doubling the rates of illicit drug use for the older generation, according to U.S. government statistics released on Wednesday.

Story of my life. Everybody is having fun without me.

Competition Lacking Among Private Health Insurers
Several studies show that in lots of places, one or two health insurance companies dominate the market. Critics say monopolistic conditions drive up premiums paid by employers and individuals.

Insurers contend their industry is extremely competitive.

"You can have a very competitive market and still have companies with a high market share," said Alissa Fox, a top Washington lobbyist for the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association. "Insurers need to be of a significant size to best serve their customers and make sure that people get the best value."

Dude. Alissa. Pass the weed.


Friday, August 21, 2009

David Sedaris on Health Care

(keep on talkin', david)

Hey! One of my friends posted something great on Facebook! Maybe there is hope for the world after all. Or at least for my friend-picking ability.

What did she post? The quote below, which is from David Sedaris, a sarcastic and witty writer who surprise, surprise, is one of my favorites. Especially after reading this quote.

I tracked the quote down to Allison Kilkenny's excellent blog, which you can find right here. David was doing a radio show, and had been asked about the differences he had seen in health care while living in the U.S. and Paris.

Here is his response:

"Allow me to answer with kidney stones. I had my first one at the age of 34. At the time I was living in New York, and had no health insurance. Never in my life had I experienced such pain, but I couldn’t afford to go to the hospital, and so I passed it at home, not knowing until the end what it actually was. (I thought I was delivering Satan’s baby through my penis.)

I had my second kidney stone seven years later, in Paris. It was ten o’clock in the morning, and after looking at my options in the phone book, I took the metro to a hospital in the 15th. Two minutes after walking through the door, I was in a private room. Delicious, mind-numbing drugs were delivered to my blood stream by way of a tube and life was beautiful. I was in the hospital for four hours, and as I was leaving, I asked the receptionist how I was supposed to pay.

“Oh,” she said, “We’ll send you a statement.”
“But you never even asked me my name.”

A few weeks later I got a bill for the equivalent of seventy dollars, this because I’m not a French citizen, and am therefore not entitled to free care.

I got my third kidney stone a few months ago, while on a lecture tour of the United States. The hospital I went to was in Westchester county and the service was outstanding. Maybe I arrived at the slowest time, but, like in France, I was waited on immediately, and the doctor and nurses could not have been more pleasant. Again I was there for four hours, though this time the bill came to $5,800. Not including medicine.

I’m completely fascinated by the health care debate going on in the United States, especially by posters of Obama with a little mustache drawn on his upper lip. Is that what Hitler is really known for, his health care plan? To quote Bill Maher, “I haven’t seen this many pissed off old white people since they canceled, “Murder She Wrote.”


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Why we are all morons

(you tell em Barney!
love ya.)

I love Barney Frank. I know, I know, he's gay and unattractive and has a speech impediment. But you have to admit, he tells it like it is.

On Tuesday he confronted a woman at a town hall meeting on health care. She tried to compare Obama's health care reform to Nazi Germany, and Frank retorted, "On what planet do you spend most of your time?"

You can watch the encounter here.

In a somewhat related incident, my husband received another email today. It's very long. It's very angry. Among other things, the author rails against "Big Government" and implies that our Constitution is being undermined and we have strayed from the vision of our founding fathers.

... sigh ...

How on earth can people compare an effort to provide health care to our own citizens, to the atrocities of Nazi Germany?

By what stretch of the imagination did the Small-Government-philosophy SUCCEED during the 8 years of the Bush Administration?

Which provisions of the Constitution, exactly, are being thwarted? Obviously the right to free speech is alive and well.

And lastly, how on earth did the Democrats lose the message war here? Did they not realize that Republicans would resort to dirty tactics to provide Obama's "Waterloo" - regardless of the consequences for the country? Did they forget to come up with a catchy slogan to counteract the words "Socialist" and "Death Squad"? Why are we on the defensive?

I'll just speak for myself. I really thought the need for health care reform was obvious. I thought an intelligent, articulate President would be a refreshing change for all of us. I thought we could become a better country, and pursue some higher goals, and accomplish some positive things.

I'll admit it. I am a moron. But I still hope for all that.

I still hope.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Why do my friends hate me?

(do you support your own best interests? yes or no
hmmm ... tough question)

It's true. My friends hate me. They told me so on Facebook.

Lots and lots of them have taken the Facebook Health Care Poll:
"Do you support President Obama's plan to overhaul health care?"

And all of them proudly voted "No."

I supposed I shouldn't take it personally. After all, my friends are a pretty conservative bunch. They mostly work for schools or big companies. They take health insurance for granted, and they think everyone else does too.

Besides, polls are all about wording. Take the NBC/WSJ polls on health care reform, for example.

~ In June 2009, the poll asked if people should have a choice between a public and private plan. Seventy-six percent said that would be extremely or quite important.

~ In July and August the word "choice" was removed, and people were asked if they favored or opposed creating a public plan to compete with private insurers. Only 43% were in favor.

I would love to see how my friends would answer MY poll questions:

"Do you support the insurance industry's right to remain uncompetitive and overpriced?"

"Do you trust the insurance industry to provide you with affordable coverage if you should lose your job?"

"If your friend Lesley came down with cancer, would you support her right to obtain the health care she would need, without going bankrupt?"

And last but not least:

"Have you ever tried to buy health insurance on your own, with any type of pre-existing condition on your record?"

I didn't think so. Come talk to me if that ever happens. I think you'll have a whole new set of answers.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

How the Dems can win the war of words

(words? what words?)

By Jove, I've got it!

The right wing has been winning the war of words lately, and it drives me crazy. All they have to do is say ridiculous, inflammatory things (Socialist! Death Squads! Sarah Palin!) and they grab all the headlines.

President Obama's team responds with thoughtful, carefully worded statements that nobody listens to.

So here is my idea:
Nude presidential appearances.

Seriously! What would get more coverage? - a bunch of angry old people protesting health care reform, or Barack appearing au natural in the Rose Garden to reassure everyone that he simply wants to make sure Americans can stay healthy without going broke - ?

He could streak across the lawn of the White House, followed by Robert Gibbs (fully clothed, please) who would explain why the public option is/is not/might be/never was on the table at the moment.

He could play "strip press conference," taking off one article of clothing each time a reporter asked a question.

People would pay attention. After a while, they might even hear what he's saying.

At the very least, the country's mood would improve. Well, mine would anyway.

I think it's worth a try.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Why I am not President

(ranter-in-chief. pick me! pick me!)

I am highly qualified to be President of the United States.

~ I have a birth certificate, though it is so faded and wrinkled it is nearly impossible to tell if it says "State of Connecticut" or "Republic of Kenya" at the top.

~ I have a college degree and better than a C average, which would put me in the top 3 out of 4 Presidents for the past decade.

~ I have a nice smile and with a little cosmetic surgery, I would look cute and perky on my deliberately blurry campaign posters.


I have a tendency to rant.

So, if somebody like, oh, say, Chuck Grassley, one of three Republicans supposedly working on a bipartisan health reform bill, responded to ridiculous rumors about "Death Panels" by saying that Americans "have every right to fear" the end-of-life counseling provision -

- and if that same person CONTINUED to defend these statements today, saying there is cause for "legitimate concern" -



My blood pressure would be through the roof, which I can't really afford because clearly I will never be able to purchase affordable health insurance except possibly through some dumb co-op which will probably give me a toaster for taking out a completely inadequate policy.

Anyway. Here is how President Obama responded:

"When I have people who just a couple of years ago thought this was a good idea now getting on television suggesting that it’s a plot against grandma or to sneak euthanasia into our health care system, that feels dishonest to me.”

I'm glad that he is President. I just wish he would appoint someone to rant on his behalf. Hmm ... maybe I will send in a resume.


Friday, August 14, 2009

I want my country back ... or do I?

(God bless America. Please. Even though we probably don't deserve it.)

Arlen Specter held a town hall meeting on Tuesday, where he met a young woman named Katy Abram. Like many in the crowd, Katy is opposed to health care reform.

“This is about the systematic dismantling of this country,” said Katy with great passion. “I'm only 35 years old, I've never been interested in politics ... We don’t want this country to turn into Russia. My question for you is, 'What are you going to do to restore this country back to what our founders created, according to the constitution?'”

The next day, Katy appeared on Hardball. Here is a link to the video clip.

Lawrence O'Donnell attempted to skewer her, asking hardball questions like "Since you are opposed to socialized medicine, have you encouraged your parents to refuse their Medicare coverage?"

Katy was wide-eyed and giggly, which at least is better than red-faced and apoplectic. She didn't seem to feel obligated to defend her position, but she did a good job of stating that position over and over. Again, she insisted that she had never really paid attention to politics before.

When asked why she felt no outrage until now - why the Bush years, 9/11 and the Iraq war failed to rouse any particular interest, - she said, "I trusted the government. I didn't really care."


According to a posting on Daily Kos (link here), Ms. Abram is more politically involved than she let on. She is apparently involved in Glenn Beck's 9-12 Project.

What is the 9-12 Project? I'm glad you asked.

Here is the 9-12 Mission Statement:
"The 9-12 Project is designed to bring us all back to the place we were on September 12, 2001. The day after America was attacked we were not obsessed with Red States, Blue States, or political parties. We were united as Americans, standing together to protect the values and principles of the greatest nation ever created."

Wow. Who wouldn't want to go back to that proud, patriotic day?

You know -
~ The day when we were scared to death, wondering when the shadowy terrorists might strike again.
~ The day when we woke up to a new, dangerous world and realized just how strongly people hate us, and how destructive hate can be.
~ The day that started our long, painful slide into misguided wars, secret domestic spying programs, waterboarding, soaring federal deficits, and the politics of fear that kept W in the white house for 8 long years.

There was a certain amount of innocence, even on 9-12. Things went downhill from there.

In Glenn Beck's own words (September 9, 2005):

"You know it took me about a year to start hating the 9-11 victims' families? Took me about a year. And I had such compassion for them, and I really wanted to help them, and I was behind, you know, "Let's give them money, let's get this started." All of this stuff. And I really didn't -- of the 3,000 victims' families, I don't hate all of them. Probably about 10 of them. And when I see a 9-11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, "Oh shut up!" I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining."

Beck went on to rail about the survivors of Hurricane Katrina, calling them "scumbags" and exclaiming, "when I saw these people and they had to shut down the Astrodome and lock it down, I thought: I didn't think I could hate victims faster than the 9-11 victims."

So. Is this the country that you want back, Mr. Beck and Ms. Abram?

A country where we are all banded together against the rest of the world?

A country where victims of terror are hated and hurricane survivors are called scumbags?

A country where it's acceptable to lie and scream and throw out terms like "Nazi" or "Socialist" to prevent your fellow citizens from obtaining health care?

Instead of looking back to 9-12, let's close our eyes and imagine a country where we can band together with the rest of the world. Where we can talk to each other without having to lie or scream. Where we care about our neighbor's well being, and we do what it takes to make sure no one has to suffer because an insurance company has decided they are not worthy of treatment.

I think that's closer to what our Founding Fathers had in mind. Don't you?


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Villain Of The Day: UnitedHealth

(stephen hemsley, current ceo of united health.
nice work if you can get it)

Welcome to UnitedHealth! We are delighted to have you as a customer. Please observe the following rules and we will all get along just fine.

Rule # 1: Pay your premiums. Yeah, yeah, we know. Your rate goes up every year. Quit whining. At least you have health insurance.

Rule # 2: Don't get sick. We are not in business to cater to your every sniffle and sneeze. If you get sick repeatedly, or you choose expensive diseases, we will cancel your policy in a heartbeat. Not that we have a heart.

Rule # 3: If you do get sick, use the cheapest doctors you can find. Our subsidiary, Ingenix, will provide totally unbiased information on how much we have to pay. And believe us, it won't be much. You'll get stuck paying the rest. But at least you have health insurance.

Rule # 4: Don't read the newspapers. They are full of lies. We did NOT admit to back-dating of stock options, denial of care, data manipulation, or any of those other silly things in all those frivolous lawsuits. We paid the settlements. Get over it. We gotta get back to making profits. Did we mention that your premiums are going up again?

Rule # 5: Get off our CEO's back. He is a great guy. Our last CEO was a shmuck. We'll admit it. He resigned after the whole silly stock option thing, with $1.6 billion in stock options, but he paid back $600 million. Poor guy. He can barely afford his personal jet, made entirely out of hundred-dollar bills and superglue.

Our current CEO is much better. This year he is only making $102,000 an hour. And his stock options are only worth $744 million. He lives a simple life.

Rule # 6: Do NOT go to to watch a video full of nasty lies. Do NOT click on this link. Do not listen to the crazy left-wing bloggers who want to put GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRATS between you and your trusted insurance company.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

He's busy counting his money.


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Armed and dangerous: Texas inmate hides gun in flabs of fat. Eww.

(it's time to come clean)

Things are getting WAY too serious around here. Seniors are worried about Death Squads. Congressmen are afraid to attend their own town hall meetings. And I hear the Birthers now have definitive proof that President Obama was NEVER ACTUALLY BORN!

So, until things turn around and we return to the lighthearted days of bombing random countries into oblivion and totally ignoring the depressing issues here at home - it's time for some Odd News from!!

Today's story:

Obese Texas inmate hides gun in his flabs of fat

HOUSTON – An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh.

Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after he told a guard at the Harris County Jail about the unloaded 9mm pistol. The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs.

The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.


Ok, now just in case you don't already have the whole disgusting picture, here is my imaginary conversation between the inmate and the jailer.

Jailer: You almost done with that shower? You've been in there forever.

Inmate: Sorry. I was just looking for something. I know it's in here somewhere.

Jailer: Did you lose the soap again? I am NOT going to help you look.

Inmate: No, umm - oh, here it is! Stick 'em up! Oops. Dang, that was slippery.

Jailer: Step away from the gun, genius. You're in really big trouble now.

Inmate: Aw, come on. It wasn't even loaded.

Jailer: Sit down for a minute. I'm calling for back-up.

Inmate: Fine. (he sits) (muffled groans)

Jailer: Just stay there. Don't say another word. Hey ... come to think of it ... where did your cell mate go?


Friday, August 7, 2009

Cornyn outraged over email request. Yee haw.

(take my senator. please.)

I love living in Texas. It's warm. It's sunny. And the politicians give me plenty of blog material. In fact, I could just quote them and not even have to add my own witty commentary. Though I would probably get protest emails from my loyal fans. Which I would then forward to the government.

As you may know, the Obama administration recently asked us all to send them any misleading or "fishy" emails regarding all the crazy health care rumors going around.

Texas Senator John Cornyn is all up in arms about it. So I'm going to let him do the talking.

August 5, 2009 - portions of a letter from Sen. Cornyn (R) to President Obama
(click here for the entire letter)

Dear President Obama,

I write to express my concern about a new White House program to monitor American citizens' speech opposing your health care policies, and to seek your assurances that this program is being carried out in a manner consistent with the First Amendment and America's tradition of free speech and public discourse ...

I am not aware of any precedent for a President asking American citizens to report their fellow citizens to the White House for pure political speech that is deemed "fishy" or otherwise inimical to the White House's political interests.

By requesting that citizens send "fishy" emails to the White House, it is inevitable that the names, email addresses, IP addresses, and private speech of U.S. citizens will be reported to the White House. You should not be surprised that these actions taken by your White House staff raise the specter of a data collection program. As Congress debates health care reform and other critical policy matters, citizen engagement must not be chilled by fear of government monitoring the exercise of free speech rights ...

bla bla bla yadda yadda yadda ...

And now, let us hearken back to December 20, 2005, when our beloved Senator Cornyn, who is so outraged (outraged I tell you!) about the government learning our email addresses (gasp!) responded to critics of the Bush domestic spying program with these words:

"None of your civil liberties matter much after you're dead."

Hm. You're right. There is no precedent for a president asking for citizens to forward emails. That's not how it is done. Silly democrats. You tap into the lines directly. Then you destroy any hope of health care reform for the little people. And sure enough, they all end up dead.

Job well done. Yee haw.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Town Hell Meetings

(cue the outrage! bring out the mobs!)

I'd hate to be a Democratic Congress-person right now. They are all home for the August recess. They thought they might hold some town hall meetings to discuss health care reform. But those meetings are turning into noisy shouting matches.

Lots of very angry, very vocal people are showing up, with signs, t-shirts and plenty of attitude.

They're all over YouTube. And they're nearly all middle-aged, gray-haired, over-weight white people.

What's going on?

Are these people crazy fringe right-wingers, organized by lobbyist-run groups such as Americans For Prosperity or FreedomWorks?

Or are they ordinary Americans, simply exercising their right to free speech?

I have my suspicions. (Door number one! Door number one!) And I have a suggestion for the beleaguered Congressmen and women: Bring along some ordinary Americans who are suffering because of our current health care system. Ask them to share their stories with the crowd.

~ Let the angry mobs shout down a mother who is dying of cancer because her insurance company cancelled her policy.

~ Let them hurl insults at a family that has gone bankrupt because of medical expenses.

~ Let them vent their rage at a man who lost his job, lost his insurance, and lives in fear of an illness or accident.

Expose the misguided, misplaced and manipulated anger that is dividing our country and undermining a worthwhile effort at geniune reform. And put it all on YouTube. Every ugly minute of it.

Maybe we can shame some sense into them.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Sticks and Stones

(let's talk about these tomorrow)

Argh. I would really like to go through a day or two with nothing to rant about. Maybe tomorrow I will post some pictures of my lovely roses or my beautiful grandbaby.

For today, I'm afraid, I must rant a bit.

What set me off this time? An email including, yet again, a comparison between Obama and Hitler.

Come on. This stuff is hateful, inflammatory, and ridiculous. But ok. I'll play along.

Here are some quotes from Adolf Hitler. You tell me - who do they remind you of?

~ "It is not truth that matters, but victory."

~ "I believe today that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator."

~ "Any alliance whose purpose is not the intention to wage war is senseless and useless."

And my personal favorite, which has apparently been adopted as the motto of the Republican Fringe Party:

~ "Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it."


Monday, August 3, 2009

War of Words

(that's good. don't smile. how about a little scowl?)

Quick, what's the first thing you think of if I say the name John Kerry? Flip-flop, right?

This, in a nutshell, is the Democrats' biggest problem. They do not know how to use their words.

Oh sure, President Obama is a wonderful orator. But more and more, I am thinking that he needs to take a lesson from the Republicans.

~ Obama says: "The economy is stabilizing. Now we need to recapture the spirit of innovation that has kept America moving forward."

~ Republicans say: "Socialist. Socialist. SOCIALIST. FASCIST! SOCIALIST!!"

~ Obama says: "We must do the hard work necessary to seize this unprecedented opportunity for the future of our economy and the health of our families."


~ Obama says: "We have chosen hope over fear, and unity of purpose over conflict and discord."

~ Republicans say: "Was he REALLY born in the United States? I don't know. I suppose it's possible. ANYTHING is possible!"

Come on, Prez! You need to hire a gutsy little copywriter! Who will work for very little money if you put her on television from time to time! And maybe promote her blog as well!

Here are a few little tips:

First, you need to USE MORE CAPITAL LETTERS!!

Also, be sure to add lots of EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! AND DRAMATIC WORDS!!!

Finally, put each of your phony but very exciting points into an email, and send it to my friend Sammy. She will immediately forward it to everyone on the Internet.

Now, here are some catchy tag lines. Free of charge. Try them out! Let's see if we can beat them at their own game.

"Health insurance companies are secretly taking over your computers FOREVER AND IMPLANTING RADIOACTIVE TRACKING DEVICES IN YOUR BRAIN!!!"

"The Republicans want the economy to SHRINK!! They plan to DESTROY the government so THEY CAN RULE THE WORLD FROM THEIR SECRET BUNKERS!!!"

"Is Rush Limbaugh secretly an intelligent, fair-minded, compassionate Democrat? I don't know. I suppose it's possible. ANYTHING is possible."


Sunday, August 2, 2009

Glenn Beck is taking over my brain! Forever!

(it's worse than i thought! run for the hills!)

I still haven't seen a whole lot of media coverage of Glenn Beck's recent "discovery" on the Cash For Clunkers website. Well, other than on the Fox News website and various right-wing blogs.

If you haven't heard about the imminent threat of the government taking over your computer, forever, take a sec to read yesterday's post. I'll wait.


Ok. Now, I will admit that there seems to be some outrageous and easy-to-pick-on language in the Cash for Clunkers disclaimer. But hello. The disclaimer is on the dealer section of the website.

~ It does not affect consumers.

~ It does not threaten your home computer in any way.

~ It does not make sense to get all hysterical about it, unless your goal is to imply that President Obama is a power-hungry fascist who wants to control everything in your life. Forever.

Still ... disclaimers are there for a reason. Take this little disclaimer from Glenn Beck's own website, for example. Here is a link if you want to check it out.

"All postings to the Clear Channel Website automatically and immediately become the property of Clear Channel without any obligation of confidentiality. Clear Channel shall be entitled to use the material for any type of use ... you hereby expressly grant to Clear Channel a royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right to use, reproduce, adapt, modify, publish, edit, translate, perform, transmit, sell, sublicense or otherwise distribute and display the Posting for any reason ... in any form, medium or technology now known or later developed, and you waive all moral rights in all such postings."

Did you catch that? Glenn Beck can use, reproduce, adapt, modify, publish, edit, and do various other things with YOUR ideas, FOREVER!

If you send him a message saying, "You are a dodo head" he can change that to "You are the head of the world" and use a technology that will be later developed to implant that idea in everyone's brains!! Yikes!!

Not only that - you will waive all moral rights!! So if God strikes us all dead because we have made Glenn Beck the head of the world, it will be your fault!!! Forever!!!

Please excuse me now. I am going to install a firewall in my brain. Right after I destroy my hard drive and stock up on bottled water and firearms. Talk to you later.


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Cash for Clunkers: Don't do it! It's a plot!

(i knew it! big brother is watching me!)

Cue the Twilight Zone music ...
Go to grainy black and white ...
Enter a shadowy figure in a black suit and hat ...

The end is near. The signs are everywhere. Thank God we have Glenn Beck to enlighten us.

Last night he exposed the latest nefarious plot of the Socialist Muslim Underground Obama administration: Cash for Clunkers will take over your computer. Forever.

Here is a link that explains what Beck has discovered.

Here is a quick explanation in case you don't want to follow the link. (I don't blame you. A single link could take over your computer. Forever.)

Beck logs into the dealer section of the Cash for Clunkers website. He makes a big point of using someone else's computer because "I wouldn't do this on mine" - and by the way, "Do not try this at home."

Ok, so here Glenn goes, into the dealer website. Except, oops, it won't open for him. But take his word for it, here is a disclaimer that he found on the website:

"When logged on to the CARS system, your computer is considered a federal computer system and it is property of the United States government. Any and all uses of this system and all files on this system may be intercepted, monitored, recorded, copied, audited, inspected, and disclosed to authorized CARS, DoT and law enforcement personnel, as well as authorized officials of other agencies, both domestic and foreign.’”

Weird, right? Scary. Strange.

Is it true? I have no idea. Is it a hoax? I certainly hope so. I haven't been able to find any news coverage of it so far this morning.

If it really is a government disclaimer, then the Obama administration has a lot to learn. You do NOT have to notify people that you are taking over their computers, intercepting emails, or tapping into phone calls. Just do it, for Pete's sake.

If you need to, you can always pass a patriotic-sounding law or get some lawyers to write briefs justifying your position or send your vice president on a fence-mending tour.

Meanwhile, let's all sit down for a beer together. Might as well. The end is near.