Where is Sarah Palin?

(sarah? is that you?)

The Anchorage Daily News reports that Sarah has been a no-show at four events in the past few months. Most recently, she was billed as the star speaker at a big Alaska Family Council fundraiser but at the last minute, her staff said they had never confirmed the event and she was out of town.

You know what this means, don't you?

There is a spotlight shining brightly, and Sarah is not in it!!

Something is clearly wrong.

The world has heard from Sarah only through her Facebook page, where she posts messages from time to time. Mostly about Death Panels.

"Well, let's see. There's ― of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Death Panels, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others. But."

The real question, of course, is not "What the heck is she talking about?"

The real question is, "Where did she go?"

~

Here are my theories:

1. She's in Argentina, waiting for Mark Sanford to resign.

2. She's trying to decide on names for baby # 6. Tree? Triangle? Triplicate?

3. She is studying for a guest appearance on "Are You Smarter Than A Third Grader?"

4. She fired her ghostwriter, and she's hard at work on her book. "And so thus, clearly, in this great American country of ours that is being torn apart from within and without and of course again, like so many others before me, also. Whereas."

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Miss ya, Sarah! I'm sure we will see you soon.

~~~