Sunday, August 9, 2009

Armed and dangerous: Texas inmate hides gun in flabs of fat. Eww.

(it's time to come clean)

Things are getting WAY too serious around here. Seniors are worried about Death Squads. Congressmen are afraid to attend their own town hall meetings. And I hear the Birthers now have definitive proof that President Obama was NEVER ACTUALLY BORN!

So, until things turn around and we return to the lighthearted days of bombing random countries into oblivion and totally ignoring the depressing issues here at home - it's time for some Odd News from!!

Today's story:

Obese Texas inmate hides gun in his flabs of fat

HOUSTON – An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh.

Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after he told a guard at the Harris County Jail about the unloaded 9mm pistol. The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs.

The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.


Ok, now just in case you don't already have the whole disgusting picture, here is my imaginary conversation between the inmate and the jailer.

Jailer: You almost done with that shower? You've been in there forever.

Inmate: Sorry. I was just looking for something. I know it's in here somewhere.

Jailer: Did you lose the soap again? I am NOT going to help you look.

Inmate: No, umm - oh, here it is! Stick 'em up! Oops. Dang, that was slippery.

Jailer: Step away from the gun, genius. You're in really big trouble now.

Inmate: Aw, come on. It wasn't even loaded.

Jailer: Sit down for a minute. I'm calling for back-up.

Inmate: Fine. (he sits) (muffled groans)

Jailer: Just stay there. Don't say another word. Hey ... come to think of it ... where did your cell mate go?



  1. I found this oddly humorous... I am sick!

  2. I can't get the picture out of my mind. I shouldn't have read this before going to sleep.

  3. In America everything is possible. Why am I not shocked by this?

    And now I find out our president was never actually born. Well I wonder how long it will be before the birthers find fault with that too.

  4. This guy in the Texas jail sounds like Jabba the Hut from Star Wars or the "Fat Bastard" from the Austin Powers movies.
    Where did you get wind of this one?

  5. Jim, this is from the "odd news" section of yahoo news. Just go to and click on Odd News towards the top of the page. Endless fun!