Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Kentucky Fried Chicken wants to kill us all

(the new 'double down' sandwich. why do they hate us so??)

I suspected it all along. Now we have the proof. The restaurant industry is out to kill us.

First there were the massive portions that started to appear everywhere. Then, these ever-increasing piles of food started getting cheaper and cheaper. And now, KFC has a new sandwich called the Double Down that has fried chicken breasts instead of buns. Seriously.

I went there earlier today and had the following conversation with the voice in the drive-thru machine:

Voice: Welcome to KFC. Would you like to try our new Double Down sandwich?

Me: No thank you. I was hoping to live another year or two. Could I just have a grilled chicken breast, a side of green beans, and a Caesar side salad?

Voice: Sure! That will be 500 calories, 130 grams of cholesterol and 1450 milligrams of sodium. What would you like to drink?

Me: Um ... a coke?

Voice: Excellent choice! I'll supersize that for free. The FDA recommends at least 64 ounces of soft drinks a day, you know. That's 600 calories and more than a cup of sugar. How about dessert?

Me: How's your pecan pie?

Voice: It's really good! It'll double your calorie count all by itself.

Me: Ok. Why not?

Voice: Your total is $10.24. Please drive up.

Me: Wow. That is an excellent value. You know what? Throw in one of those Double Down sandwiches as well. And change the salad to Jumbo Fries.

Voice: Sure thing!

Me: Thanks! This should make a tasty little snack. I'll be back in a couple of hours for lunch.



  1. KFC (which used to be called Kentucky Fried Chicken) has not been the same for quite some time now...
    Just another upgrade to the "colonel's secret recipe" I suppose.
    But I will take a pass.

    BTW, I like the notable quotes you now post.

  2. And what about McDonald's? They are really helping us too. Now they have that slab of beef called an Angus Burger or something like that. Has about 1000 calories in it, plus lots of fat but they are making it healthy by adding a lettuce leaf. WOW - impressive.

  3. Give my Arby's or give me death! I always get a weird look and, "You mean the combo?" "No, just the sandwich and water, please."

    KFC is a fave of Hubby's and his folks. Luckily they do have a new grilled chicken without all the breading.

    Have you noticed a small beverage used to be barely enough to wet your whistle, but now it's a half-gallon?