I just have to say ...

(settle down, lesley, settle down)

Woo hoo! Boo ya! And a big "Way To Go!" to President Obama and Nancy Pelosi.

The health reform bill isn't perfect. I'd prefer single payer myself. But they did it. Amazing.

Some good things will start to happen right away. Insurance companies can no longer say "Sorry, your child was born with asthma. That's a pre-existing condition." They can no longer say "Sorry, you had a cold six years ago. That's a pre-existing condition." They can no longer say "Sorry, your illness is too expensive. Even though you paid your premiums, we're cutting you off."

Of course, they wouldn't say that anyway. At least, not the "sorry" part.

It amazes me to see the backlash, particularly from my Christian friends who I am now about to totally offend.

If Jesus designed a health care plan, what do you think it would look like? Would he do his best to avoid taxing the wealthy? Would he be mainly concerned with maintaining the hefty profits of the hospitals and insurance companies? If he suggested caring for the poor (like, hello, I believe he did over and over) would his disciples run away clutching their wallets and screaming about socialism?

I think not.

If you are upset about health reform, please take a few minutes to learn the facts.

Your taxes are not going up, unless you make over $200,000 a year.
The government is not taking over health care. (I wish they would)
There are no death panels.
There are new, common sense controls on the insurance industry.
There are over 200 Republican amendments in the bill.

And last but not least - tort reform and selling across state lines would NOT provide meaningful reform.

Rant over. I feel better now.

More to come.

~~~

You're all still here! Me too.

I'm happy - and somewhat amazed - to see that my merry band of followers has not yet dissolved into the mist. Inertia can be a wonderful thing.

I suppose the same can be said for the health reform bill. It's still alive, amazingly enough. I don't think inertia has much to do with it, though. Kudos to Obama for keeping it alive. Agree with him or not, you have to admit the guy has guts.

Meanwhile, I've been quite busy but I had to come tell you about my new hobby which I heartily recommend:

I signed up as a "fan" of John Cornyn, my conservative Texas Senator, on Facebook.

It irked me that there was not an option to access his page as a "person who is NOT a fan but just wants to make comments." I'm afraid my Facebook friends probably have the wrong idea about me. ("Did you hear? Lesley is a FAN of John Cornyn's! We knew she would see the light sooner or later!")

But anyway. His Facebook page is lots of fun.

Senator Cornyn loves to post questions with obvious answers, like this one:

"Will Texas members of congress embrace a $24 billion unfunded Medicaid mandate for Texas taxpayers (over 10 yrs) in Senate HC bill? Texans, should they?"

That little question has gotten 212 replies since last Friday. Approximately two hundred and eleven people posted compassionate answers like:

"It is not my responsibility to care for those who choose not to care for themselves."

I kid you not. This was a typical reply.

We're talking about Medicaid here, which helps children. The elderly. The disabled. The poor.

I answered that I thought we SHOULD help these people, and I pointed out that (1) the Senate HC bill is not unfunded, and (2) Cornyn's questions are deliberately slanted and divisive.

The very next commenter told me I should move to California.

If your senators or congresspeople are on Facebook, join their page! It's much more therapeutic than sending emails to them or banging your head against the wall, which are both pretty much exactly the same thing. If yours don't have a page, join Cornyn's! I'd love to have the company.

Here's the link:
Facebook/John Cornyn

~~~

My resignation letter. Well, maybe.

(me? stop ranting? nah)

Dear followers, lurkers, and anonymous commenters from Japan:

Good news! I have discovered how to make money blogging. Here's how you do it: you stop blogging, and get a job.

Yes, somebody actually offered me a real, full-time job. I start next week. I'm very excited. It's not a blogging job, but it is a writing job with a wonderful company.

Of course, the bad news is that I will have less time for blogging. And I had SO many things to rant about!

I was going to look into genetically modified organisms, which I hate to tell you but you probably eat these mutated food-like undigestable substances for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. Truly scary stuff.

I was going to cover the upcoming health reform summit in great detail, which I'm sure will be very amusing. Maybe President Obama will propose a tax credit for surgically removing sneers from the faces of certain Republican leaders *cough*Boehner*cough*.

And of course I was going to follow Sarah Palin's run for the presidency in 2012, which you betcha is coming and which will provide ENDLESS fodder for bloggers like me. And since I am satirical, just like Rush Limbaugh, I can say whatever I want without worrying about offending Ms. Palin. What a relief!

Clearly I can't let these opportunities completely pass me by. So I'll be around! I just won't be ranting quite as frequently.

Have a great day, my friends! But put down that muffin. Trust me, you don't want to eat that. I'll tell you why later.

~~~

Anthem Blue Cross writes back

(take a chill pill, kathleen.

anthem blue cross is just doin' what comes naturally)

As I told you last time, Kathleen Sibelius wrote a stern letter to Anthem Blue Cross, demanding to know why they were raising rates as much as 39% for individual customers in California.

Well, now they have written back.

Sibelius received this detailed 5-page explanation for the rate hikes instead of the three-word answer that really would have sufficed: "Because. We. Can."

Let's take a look at Anthem's explanation, shall we? Here are some excerpts, followed by my translations in red:

Anthem's profit margin in California is in-line with and below that of many of our competitors.

Translation: The CEO of Aetna has a MUCH bigger yacht than I do.

It is important to note that the rate increases being reported in the media relate only to the individual insurance market ... which represents approximately 10 percent of our more than eight million members in California.

Translation: Besides, this change only affects 800,000 people, all of whom are obviously losers because they don't work for large corporations. Fools.

Furthermore, the figure of 39 percent being reported by media represents one of the largest rate increases and includes the impact of aging.

Translation: In fact, many of them are geezers!

It is important to know that our members often have a choice of coverage.

Translation: If they want to save some money, they can switch to our ever-popular Major Medical Instant Bankruptcy PPO Plan with a $50,000 deductible.

(later in the letter, under the heading "Why Individual Rates Are Increasing Faster Than Medical Inflation") -
In our challenging economy, a higher proportion of individuals move to lower-cost coverage.

Translation: Of course, keep in mind, if people take our advice and switch plans, we will still have to raise their rates. Hey, we gotta make a buck.

Medical costs increase each year primarily due to 1) provider prices increasing faster than general inflation and 2) increases in consumer utilization.

Translation: It's not our fault that prices keep going up. People buy insurance from us, and then they expect us to PAY when they get sick and go to the doctor. Completely unreasonable. If they would just die already, we'd all be happy. At least I would. Now kindly buzz off.

~~~

Sibelius questions Anthem Blue Cross rate hikes

(surprise, surprise. health insurance costs are going up.)

Anthem Blue Cross recently announced price hikes of up to 39% for individual plans in California. Once she found out, "through media accounts," Kathleen Sibelius, the U.S. Health Secretary, responded quickly and forcefully. She sent them a letter asking why.

And guess what? I have obtained the classified, top-secret, and totally fictional letters that went back and forth!

Shhh, don't tell ... but here they are:

~~~

Dear Anthem Blue Cross,

What is the meaning of this? I was just watching American Idol and I accidentally changed the channel for a sec and heard that you are raising rates by 39%. What the heck are you thinking? Send me an explanation please. Pretty please.

Sincerely, Kathleen Sibelius

...

Dear Ms. Sibelius,

At Anthem Blue Cross, our mission is to improve the profits of our extremely huge company by any means we deem necessary. Last quarter our parent company, WellPoint, had profits of only 2.7 billion dollars. We have resolved to do even better in 2010. Our shareholders deserve nothing less.

If our valued customers are regrettably unable to afford their new premiums, that is not our problem. They have many alternatives, including getting a job that provides health benefits, moving to Mexico, or dying.

If you continue to make a fuss about this silly issue, we may incur legal fees which would force us to implement even harsher rate hikes in the very near future.

Buzz off.

Sincerely, Heartless But Profitable Insurance Company

...

Dear Anthem Blue Cross:

Oh. Sorry. My bad.

Sincerely, Kathleen Sibelius

~~~

No joke

(the more i see of her, the more afraid i become)

Sarah Palin gave the keynote speech at the Tea Party convention yesterday. She blasted President Obama, said the word "Reagan" several hundred times, and rallied her fans with confusing run-on sentences and catchy little bumper-sticker sayings like this "How's that hope-y change-y thing workin' out for ya?"

She enumerated some admirable goals without offering any workable solutions, urged a smaller government but a bigger military, and pined for the good ol' days of waterboarding.

Then she took pre-planned questions from the audience.

With pre-planned answers written on her palm.

I kid you not.




This is just sad.

Her supporters don't care. That's even sadder. (From one message board: "I'll take inarticulate but honest over smooth-talking liar any day.")

So, if she bugs me so much, why do I keep talking about her? Why give her even more publicity? Because like her or not, she isn't going away. We all need to understand exactly what could happen if the tea party movement grows stronger.

Imagine that legendary 3 a.m. phone call - with no crib notes written on her hand.

In fact, this morning on Fox News, Chris Wallace asked if she might run in 2012.

Her response: "I think that it would be absurd to not consider what it is that I can potentially do to help our country."

Scary.

Sad.

Absurd, indeed.

~~~

How do you spell Hypocrite?

(how big of a hypocrite am i? thiiiiis big)

Republican members of Congress voted unanimously against the Recovery Act last year. Ever since, they have been whining about "out of control" spending, even though the out-of-control part started, undeniably, on their watch.

No! No! Don't spend away our children's future!

No! No! Don't make us take that dirty government money!

What's that? A ribbon cutting? A photo op? Count us in!

The White House recently released a very interesting list including the following tidbits:

John Boehner (R-Ohio) issued a statement on his Web site that he was "pleased that federal officials have stepped in" to order Ohio to use its stimulus funds for "shovel-ready" construction projects.

Eric Cantor (R -Va) hosted a job fair to demonstrate how he — and not the Obama administration — is working on ‘long-term solutions that will put Virginia businesses and Virginia workers back on the path to financial stability.’ Nearly half of the 30 organizations on hand were recipients of stimulus funds.

Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-Mich.) posted to his Twitter, "Stimulus Incentive Is Very Generous! Up to 8k! Check It Out!"

There's more. Lots more.

You guys should be ashamed. What DO you stand for, exactly?

h.y.p.o.c.r.i.t.e.s.

~~~