Friday, May 29, 2009

Road to Socialism

(road to nowhere ... no thanks, we've already tried that one)

It's been quiet around here. I haven't had much to rant about. Is it just me?

The stock market has been pretty peaceful.

Obama chose a smart, feisty woman as his Supreme Court nominee. No big surprise.

GM is heading for an orderly bankruptcy. Yawn.

I was starting to think the ranting days were over. Maybe everybody could learn to work together, and get along, and even get things done! I'd love to see that. Is it just me?

Then I accidentally turned on Fox News.

There was Glenn Beck, talking to somebody. I don't know who. All I could see was this huge banner across the bottom of the screen, with big red, white and blue letters screaming "The Road To SOCIALISM!!"

ok. sigh. I guess it's just me.


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Keep your hands off my genes

(hey! look what i invented!)

Did you know that approximately 20% of your genes are patented? It's true. Scientists who identify gene fragments or sequences are allowed to patent them. Which means nobody else can study, test, or even look at them.

(Stop looking at your hangnail! I just applied for that gene patent.)

The ACLU has filed a lawsuit against Myriad Genetics, the company that holds the patent for two genes related to breast and ovarian cancer. This patent is inhibiting research in these important areas and making it very expensive for women to get essential testing.

Here is a snippet from the ACLU website:

"Many women with a history of breast and ovarian cancer in their families opt to undergo genetic testing to determine if they have the mutations on their BRCA genes that put them at increased risk for these diseases. This information is critical in helping these women decide on a plan of treatment or prevention, including increased surveillance or preventive mastectomies or ovary removal. However, the fact that Myriad can exclude others from providing this testing has several negative consequences for patients: many women cannot afford the more than $3,000 Myriad charges for the test; patients cannot get second opinions on their test results; and patients whose tests come back with inconclusive results do not have the option to seek additional testing elsewhere."

Now, here is my question: What the heck?

Even though Myriad Genetics has a scary-sounding name and is probably headquartered in a big, gray, medieval-looking building in the middle of a forest, I doubt that their mad scientists managed to invent these two genes.

I mean, genes would be discovered, not invented, right? As one of the ACLU lawyers points out,
"Patenting genetic sequences is like patenting blood, air or e=mc2."

Of cour$e, there i$ probably a $olid rea$on why gene patent$ make $en$e. I $hall go $ee if I can figure it out. Back $oon.


Friday, May 15, 2009

Democratic Socialist Party

(can't we all just get along? guess not.)

I hear the Republicans are having a special meeting next week. I imagine they will be doing some brainstorming. After all, between Cheney, Limbaugh and other assorted dunderheads, they have a lot of damage control to take care of -

What? What's that? They're not meeting to strategize about their party's total failure to understand the mood of the country? They're not hoping to come up with alternative solutions to the issues we are facing?? They're not going to find a new secret bunker for Dick?

Nope. They plan to pass a resolution re-naming the Democratic Party the "Democratic Socialist Party."

Ok, first of all this is the most childish thing I have heard in a long time. And I have a 2-year-old grandbaby, so I hear a lot of childish things.

Second, I am tired of Republicans trying to tell me what I should be afraid of. At this point, I am mostly afraid of them.

Third, there already IS a "Democratic Socialist Party" and they do not particularly want to bring the current Dem's into their fold. They say the Dem's are not socialist enough for them, which is an interesting observation that I'm sure the Republicans will ignore.

And fourth, if the Rep's get to name the Dem's then it should also work the other way around. How about re-naming the GOP the "Republican Poopy-Pants" Party? This is about as relevant and helpful as their suggestion for the Dem's. Plus I cleared it with my grandbaby. She loved it.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Vote for me?

I am super excited about being nominated for a Blogger's Choice Award. (Thanks again, Rae!!) If you enjoy my ranting, please click on the little logo to the right to cast a vote.

Even if you don't enjoy my ranting, which would include most of my relatives, you could still vote for me. Tell ya what - if you vote for me, I promise not to mention you in my memoirs.



(no! please! make it stop!)

He's baaack. Dick Cheney has been making the rounds with his one-man show called "Ok It Was Torture But You're Still Alive So You Ought To Be Thanking Us." To me, the real torture is seeing his face over and over and over. Nothing personal, but I just can't stand the man.

I don't know which is worse - that snarl ...

("I. Said. Get. Off. My. Lawn!")

... or that smirk

("Heh heh, I'm only pretending to be feeble. Just wait till this inauguration is over. I'll be EVERYwhere!")

Sometimes he breaks into an actual smile. Makes you wonder what's really going on ...

(f*rt ... "Sorry Nancy.")

Of course, I do believe that everyone has some redeeming qualities. Even Dick Cheney. Maybe some day, somehow, he will do something that will make the world a better place.

("Ready, aim ...")


Monday, May 11, 2009

Health care reform

(done! that was easy!)

I've been self-employed for years, so I saw the health care crisis coming long before it hit the headlines. My friends who worked for Ford and GM and other companies that were still companies at the time had no idea why the mention of health insurance in casual conversation caused me to sweat, breathe rapidly, and stutter.

Now they understand.

But, good news! The crisis will soon be solved. The insurance companies have apparently come to their senses. They are now on our side.

On May 6th, the big health insurers voluntarily offered to reduce rates for women. Wasn't that nice of them?

And then, just yesterday, a big group of big insurers, drug companies, hospitals and unions pledged to cut the growth of health care costs by 1.5% a year, which could amount to a savings of $2 trillion over the next decade. What amazingly lucky timing! They suddenly discovered that they could save $2 trillion, just before a serious debate on health care begins. Wow.

I just have one word of advice for President Obama:
- Don't turn your back on these guys.

And one word of advice for anyone like me, who has health insurance that costs a fortune, covers practically nothing and could disappear at any moment:
- Don't get sick.


Saturday, May 9, 2009

Miss California

(tiara or brain. pick one.)

Miss California blew it. Rule number one in the Beauty Queen Handbook clearly states:

"When asked your opinion on anything, the correct answer is: World Peace."

What was she thinking, bashing gay marriage? Where did she get the nerve to come up with her own opinion? And how could she forget about those nearly-nude photos that have now popped up to embarrass the suddenly-prudish Miss USA Pageant officials, who would never encourage young women to pose or prance around wearing skimpy little outfits and 6-inch heels? At least, not without wearing a tiara at the same time.

I only have 3 things to say:

1. I think the Republicans are happy to have a new spokesperson who is better looking than Joe the Plumber, who I hear is leaving the party anyway. (For details on Joe's thought process, given the generous assumption that he has a thought process, follow this link and scroll down to the section entitled "What Have We Got To Lose?" which I believe at this point is a rhetorical question.)

2. I think the gay marriage debate is a more worthy topic than the silly debate over which type of mustard President Obama prefers. (Get a life, Mr. Hannity)

And 3. I think, whether I agree with Miss California or not, I applaud her willingness to speak her mind and stand up for her convictions. You go, girl.


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

And now for the evening news ...

(ok, maybe there WAS some hype back then)

I'm old.

"how old are you?"

I'm so old, I remember when the news was only on once a day.

"what? like, you only turned it on once a day?"

No, like it was only ON one time each day. At first, the evening news was only 15 minutes long. And only on weekdays. On Saturdays and Sundays, there was no evening news.

"even on the cable channels?"

There were no cable channels. There was NBC, ABC and CBS. That was it.

"you're kidding"

Nope. People would read the newspaper, watch the news at night, and just live their lives the rest of the time.


It wasn't all bad. If something outrageous happened, like Miss California having an actual opinion, or the press corps standing up when the President walked in, it might be days before you heard about it. By that time it often wouldn't seem like such a big deal.

"sounds boring"

Not really. Imagine today's news without the hype, exaggeration, personalities and political spin. What would be left?

"just the facts, i guess"


"wow. i'd rather eat dirt. hey, i hear there's a video of the obama puppy pledging allegiance to the koran on youtube. gotta go."


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Affairs with Oprah

(in politics, as in life, sentence structure is important.)

MSNBC did a story this morning about Elizabeth Edwards' new book. Here is the crawl that appeared at the bottom of the screen:

"Elizabeth Edwards discusses her husband's affair with Oprah."

My first thought - That rat! His wife has cancer and he's having an affair with Oprah??!

My second thought - Oh. She's appearing on Oprah to discuss her husband's affair.

My third thought - He's still a rat.