Conspiracy Theory

(yes we did. is that good or bad?)

~ Date: July 2008

~ Location: Secret Bunker

~ Participants: Anonymous, high-ranking government officials. Let's randomly call them GWB, DC, and Whoever Was In Charge Of The Republican Party At That Point (Probably Rush Limbaugh, but we'll go with RP).

DC: Thanks for coming, W.

GWB: No problem. You know I'm always at your service. Hey, could you read this book to me? It's my favorite.

DC: Not again. You know the caterpillar comes out just fine in the end.

GWB: Pleeeease? Just once?

DC: After we have a little talk. This is important. Focus. RP has some information.

RP: Things are not going well for McCain.

GWB: What do you mean? I thought the polls were pretty close so far.

RP: Exactly. He could actually win. This is not good.

GWB: Don't we WANT him to win??

RP and DC: NO!!!!

RP: He has to lose. It's our only hope. The economy is sinking like a rock. The housing market is a mess. We haven't done a thing about health care. Not to mention the auto industry, the wars, unemployment, Social Security, Medicare, gitmo -

DC: Stop crying, W.

RP: We have a plan. We lose this election. We get Obama in the White House. The poor sap will have no choice. He'll have to spend money like crazy to try to get out of this whole fiasco. He'll try to get health care reform through. He might even try to close Guantanamo. And all we have to do is sit back and criticize!

DC: It's beautiful! I love it!

RP: We've got the talking points ready. He's a socialist. He's bankrupting the country. He's leaving a legacy of debt for our grandchildren.

DC: I'll go on a speaking tour! He's leaving us vulnerable to attack. Heh heh snarl snarl ...

GWB: But ... but ... how can we make sure McCain loses the election?

RP: We've got that all figured out. Have you ever been to Alaska?

~~~