Thursday, October 22, 2009

Republican Has Flu Shot ... Now He Can Only Say "Yes"

(don't do it! i'm warning you!)

News Flash:
Swine Flu Vaccine Has Surprising Side Effects

In a very disturbing development, a prominent Republican recently developed a serious side effect from the H1N1 flu shot, which as we all know is a dastardly Fascist-Socialist-Government plot to infect the entire population with cancer. (read the startling details here)

Or to plan an identity chip into our bodies. (honest to God)

Or to take over our minds, which many of us seem to have lost lately.

Or something.

Anyway. The side effect for this poor unfortunate Republican? Tragically, the only word he can say is "Yes."

Here is an interview which I recently conducted with him. We'll call him R.


Me: Well. This seems to be a very serious and tragic situation. Dastardly, even.

R: Yes.

Me: You say you had the Swine Flu vaccine, and 10 days later you woke up and all you could say was ...

R: Yes.

Me: And you blame this on the Obama administration?

R: Yes!

Me: Because they are encouraging people to get vaccinated, pretending that it's "only" a vaccine that will "only" protect people, particularly children?

R: Yes!!!

Me: So, let me ask you: Are the Republicans using this as another fear tactic, implying that a simple vaccine might be a government plot?

R: rrr-aghhhh -nnnyy - yes.

Me: I thought so. And did the vaccine, in fact, protect you from the Swine Flu?

R: nnn-yy-yes.

Me: Did your Fascist-Socialist-Government-provided health insurance pay for this flu shot?

R: y-y-yes.

Me: Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had Fascist-Socialist-Government-provided health insurance?

R: (rips off his microphone and walks away)

Me: Wait! I had lots more questions! Are you still taking money from the health insurance industry? Do you like my hair? Is my blog the best in the world?

... stay tuned. I'll try to get him back for a follow-up interview. I'd love to hear what he thinks about global warming!



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