Monday, November 30, 2009

Odd News


(southern living's super-de-duper holiday issue, complete with instructions on how to deliver a baby. i sure hope patricia had this on hand.)


It's Monday! Time for some odd news.

Today I'm only going to feature one story:
"Boston Woman Delivers Grandchild On Thanksgiving."


This was reported by WHDH News in Boston, but in my opinion they left out all of the most interesting information. Here is the story word for word, with my questions in red.

BOSTON – A Boston woman says she was forced to split her time between helping her daughter deliver a baby at home and cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

(Was there nobody else at home who could have helped with either task? A husband? A neighbor? A very intelligent dog? And why do you say she was "forced"? Was she considering NOT helping her daughter? Was there a weapon involved? Or just a lot of screaming?)

Patricia McCalop was in the middle of preparing the meal when Africa McCalop suddenly went into labor two weeks early.

(Ok, so WHY would someone from Boston name their daughter "Africa"? Did Patricia mean to write "Arica" on the birth certificate, but she was maybe like totally drunk and added an extra letter and went several years before realizing that her daughter was, in fact, named Africa? I am fascinated by this.)

The grandmother called 911, and a dispatcher talked her through the delivery and helped her confirm that the baby girl was healthy and breathing. Paramedics arrived shortly afterward and took the mother and newborn to the hospital. They are both in good health.

(Ok, that's good! No questions here.)

McCalop said she kept running between the kitchen and her daughter in labor because she didn't want the turkey to burn while helping her child deliver the baby.

(Who on earth were they having for dinner? Would they not have understood if dinner was overcooked? Seems to me a brand new baby who was JUST BORN IN THE GUEST BEDROOM is a pretty good excuse.)

The infant weighed six pounds.

(THIS is how you end the story? "The infant weighed six pounds"?? I have lots more questions. Did Patricia send poor Africa to the hospital all by herself? Were the dinner guests totally grossed out by the thought of what Patricia was doing in between stuffing the turkey and baking the pies? Did Africa name her baby after some random continent? Australia, maybe? Or North America?)

Come on, WHDH News. Inquiring minds want to know ...

~~~

4 comments:

  1. that was a super fast delivery! how long did it take for the paramedic to arrive?

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  2. I would like to know the story that will be told to that baby girl when she is grown up. "Grandma had to choose between a turkey and you. Lucky for you, she didn't pick the turkey." Thank goodness grandma kept her wits about her too. Can you imagine running back and forth between basting the turkey and catching a baby. It would have been awful if she had mixed them up.

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  3. Some people just can't make a decision! Uh, next time... turn off the oven, burners, microwave, etc. and stay in the blessed bedroom!

    She was probably multi-tasking when she named her daughter, too!

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  4. I hope she washed her hands while dashing back and forth.

    If I'd been a dinner guest, I think I might have opted for the vegetarian option

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