Sunday, August 16, 2009

Why I am not President


(ranter-in-chief. pick me! pick me!)


I am highly qualified to be President of the United States.

~ I have a birth certificate, though it is so faded and wrinkled it is nearly impossible to tell if it says "State of Connecticut" or "Republic of Kenya" at the top.

~ I have a college degree and better than a C average, which would put me in the top 3 out of 4 Presidents for the past decade.

~ I have a nice smile and with a little cosmetic surgery, I would look cute and perky on my deliberately blurry campaign posters.

But.

I have a tendency to rant.

So, if somebody like, oh, say, Chuck Grassley, one of three Republicans supposedly working on a bipartisan health reform bill, responded to ridiculous rumors about "Death Panels" by saying that Americans "have every right to fear" the end-of-life counseling provision -

- and if that same person CONTINUED to defend these statements today, saying there is cause for "legitimate concern" -

- and if he had also VOTED FOR THE SAME TYPE OF PROVISION IN THE 2003 MEDICARE DRUG BILL -

I WOULD BE SCREAMING AT HIM IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS!!!!

My blood pressure would be through the roof, which I can't really afford because clearly I will never be able to purchase affordable health insurance except possibly through some dumb co-op which will probably give me a toaster for taking out a completely inadequate policy.

Anyway. Here is how President Obama responded:

"When I have people who just a couple of years ago thought this was a good idea now getting on television suggesting that it’s a plot against grandma or to sneak euthanasia into our health care system, that feels dishonest to me.”

I'm glad that he is President. I just wish he would appoint someone to rant on his behalf. Hmm ... maybe I will send in a resume.

~~~






7 comments:

  1. You would be an excellent ranter and you have my vote. Lesley for Ranter in Chief - sounds good to me.

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  2. Good point Lesley, perhaps President Obama does need to get tougher on the (ranting) talking points he makes about Grassley.
    I like the humor you inject into your posts on health care and other political issues.
    You show real wit.

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  3. Rae: Thanks! It would be wonderful to get paid for ranting! Maybe I could even get that government health care plan.

    Jim: Thanks! I work hard to be humorous. Keeps my blood pressure down.

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  4. He had such good answers... Too bad so many chose not to hear.

    And why was it good then but not now? Politics is so confusing.

    I'll vote for you.

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  5. Would you really want to have to do the talk show circuit? You would sometimes have to do three of them on Sunday morning.

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  6. Hey Lesley, FYI Glenn Beck has been dropped by 20 sponsors following his comments about President Obama being a racist... and some big ones too, the latest are WAL-MART and CVS Pharmacy stores.
    He's in BIG TROUBLE!!!

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  7. Lily: Thanks for your vote! I will let Barack know that he can contact you for a personal reference. lol

    Bruce: I would be totally available for the Sunday morning talk shows! Especially if there are make-up artists on hand.

    Jim: Wow. That is good news. I'm glad his careless words are having serious consequences. These talk show hosts need to realize that they can't just spew any kind of garbage and expect to be taken seriously.

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