Monday, September 14, 2009

My campaign platform

(canada, here we come!)

I'm sure you all remember my previous announcement about running for Governor of Texas. In fact, you're probably wondering where the t-shirts and campaign buttons are.

First things first. As soon as somebody sends me $12.6 million I will kick my campaign into high gear. In the meantime, I do have a great idea for a campaign platform.

Let's trade places with Canada!

That's right. All the Texans who are up in arms about ObamaCare and WhoKnowsWhatElse should pack their bags and head north. And you Canadians are more than welcome to come on down! Let's trade countries.

Yesterday's post explained the clear advantages of the Canadian health care system. This was reinforced by a nice comment from TC (thanks TC!) who lives in Canada and pays less for supplemental health coverage than I spend on Oak Leaf Merlot, which I buy on a regular basis because I've heard red wine is good for my heart and of course it has the added benefit of helping me forget that I could go broke at any moment if I have a heart attack because the Merlot doesn't do the trick.


My campaign platform is brilliant! Here's why:

1. There are some Texans who want to secede from the United States. Here's your chance!

2. Texans are always complaining about the heat. Problem solved.

3. Canada has about 9 million more people than Texas, but believe me there's plenty of room! In fact, it might spur a nice little housing boom. (Y'all like cows, right? They're a lot like moose, only more edible.)

And 4. I can finally get health care. But I'll probably stick with the Merlot. Just in case.


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